More To Life: Six Meals a Day

I am starting to get conscious about my weight.. I think I am so thin ngaun kaya naman mas nadedegrade pa yung looks ko.. Naman?! Kaya ngaun.. magpapataba ako.. but not to the extent na magiging balloon na ako.. I am actually planning 6 heavy meals a day.. Buti na yung ambitious keisa naman wala.. duhba?! hehe

Ok naman ang studies ko eh... And I think kaya ko naman bawiin yung QuanMet ko.. So ngaun.. isa sa mga priorities ko ung mag-gain muna ng weight then take up some fitness lessons like uhmm YOGA.. pinakacheap na fitness lessons pero effective huh.. kasi by donation lang yung fees.. hahaha:) Anyways.. Sana maabot ko itong target weight program ko.. Hectic ang sked sa studies kaya naman nags-stress tabs na ako.. fight stress baby!!! hehehe..

Basta.. kahit indi bigla.. hanggang summer ako magpapataba.. Lamon na kung lamon.. (yuck Bench! the terms huh?!) basta.. para sa akin to.. akin.. haha:) Ma-obsess man ako in gaining weight.. Kebs lang!!!:) Carry ko naman un!

Ano Bench? Game ka na b? (^_^) Sabi nya more to life eh.. Tama sya.. More to life.. More to eat in life!!!!:)

... When You Were the Only Love I Ever Wanted..

Naalala mo pa ba lahat ng pinagsamahan natin.. How we met? How we talked.. how you and I showed to each other out true selves but not our true feelings...? Paminsan akala ko naiyak ko na lahat.. Pero at night there comes a point na Il just cry it all out.. again.. and leave myself clueless on why the heck am I letting these tears fall...

I know I can never be good enough for you.. Marami kasi ang pumoporma for you... Marami ka rin namang taong pinagpapapansinan.. Naalala ko pa yung sinabi mo sa akin about your Lower years.. U know what it is.. As far as I can remember... sinabi mo sakin yung name na yun.. Now I think that name is significant in my present life.. Whatever the purpose of that event is.. I don't know.. Who am I to know?

But I hope that whatever happens between the two of us is no joke.. Na purely twists of fate lang.. because.. If so.. I guess I can't help but cry again.. cry all over again... With seeing you happy.. and seeing me crying in this blissful experience.. every night.. forever...

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH... I just want to say it so loud... Though silence overshadows us.. Don't ever get hurt dahil sa decisions mo.. Cos Il ask you.. if you know that all the while I was dying because of you...

Naiyak ko na Lahat

Tandang Pananong?!

Smile na lang siguro amidst the world shrouding me with all the loneliness.. I guess it's time for me to do what really makes me happy. Sabi ko nga kanina.. Para ka na lang drinking fountain para sa akin.. Maiinuman din kita... Hehehe!!!

Kailangan ko lang pumila ng maaus.. masaya... para indi ako makasakit ng ibang taong dumaraan sa hallway ng Velasco at para discreet na rin yung pagtake ko ng chance para makainom.. Sa pagtakbo ng panahon marahil indi na ako makakahingi ng tubig.. pero ok lang.. pinakita ko lang sa drinking fountain na handa akong pumila... magtiis para sa kanya.. Mahal ko pa rin kasi yung drinking fountain ko.. hehe..:) Pero kung indi ako makainom.. Maaus na ang buhay ko.. Kasi natuto akong magtiis.. Naging maganda rin naman ang lahat lahat so pareho lang kaming may natutunan.

Kung sinuman yung pagbibigyan ng mahal kong drinking fountain ng kanyang last drop of water.. Huwag mo sasayangin yung tubig ha.. Kasi binigay nya sayo ng buong puso yun.. so dapat icherish mo sya.. Kagaya ng pagcherish ko sa kanya though di ko pa siya naiinuman.. hehe

Marami na akong naiyak.. Cguro tama na.. Para maging masaya na lahat... Higit sa lahat.. Ako.. at ikaw.. Mukha namang ok kau eh.. masaya na ako poi..:)

Sana lang.. bago nya ubusin yung tubig sa yo, mahal kong drinking fountain... Masigurado mo na sya na talaga.. kasi ayaw kita masaktan... Mabuti naman at nandito ka na ulit.. Salamat.. Paalam.. kamusta?!

Masaya na ba ako.. ? Sana ito na ulit ang simula.:)

Tuldok.

RACIST DAW?!

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire?
A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.

What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?
Niggers.

Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think it's whale shit.

What do you call a nigger in a tree with a briefcase?
Branch manager.

How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head.

How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
Cut the rope.

What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times?
Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.

What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger?
Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.

Why do niggers stink?
So blind people can hate them too.

Why are there no nigger astronauts?
Their lips explode at 50,000 feet.

How do you babysit a niglet?
Wet his lips and stick him to the wall.

How do you get him down?
Teach him to say "Motherfucker."

How do you start a foot race in Ethiopia?
Roll a doughnut down the street.

When does a Black man turn into a nigger?
As soon as he leaves the room.

What do you call a nigger with a Harvard education?
Nigger.

What do you call a nigger in a courtroom in a 3 piece suit?
The defendant.

There is a nigger and a spic in a car, who's driving?
The cop.

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?
He doesn't know he's black.

How long does it take a nigger bitch to take a shit?
9 months.

... not really racist... hahaha! I bet niggers have same jokes for Asians, and other misunderstood sects of society.. I need not mention who...

Nang Tumigil ang Pag-inog ng aking Mundo

Wakas na naman.

Isa ito sa pinakaemosyonal na linggong napagdaanan ko sa tinatawag nating buhay. Maraming nangyari. Maraming nawala.. Kahit wala naman pumalit. Marami ang nasira. Kahit wala namang kapalit sa buhay ko upang maging maayos. Heto ako... tinatanggap ang bawat dagok na nangyari sa buhay ko. Bakit? dahil yon ang hiniling ko... dahil iyon marahil ang ginusto ko. Mabait si God. Binigay nya kaagad sa akin.

Kahit sa loob ko.. may pag-aalinlangan. Ngunit huli na ang lahat. Sana nasagot ko na lang yung mga tanong nya. Sana hindi ko na lang piniling manahimik. Pareho lang pala ang mangyayari. Mawawala rin pala sya sa'kin. Sana binigyan ko na lang sya ng rason para mawala. Alam kong hindi nya kailanman maiintindihan ang lahat lahat. Kahit ako. Hindi ko rin mawari ang mga nangyari. Pero heto ako naiwan. Habang iniisip ko kung gaano akong nahulog sa patibong na animoy kumukubli sa bawat hanging mahihinga ko pa.

Gayunpaman, wala na rin akong magagawa. Wala na sya. Hindi na maibabalik pa ang lahat ng mga sandaling tanging inasam ko. Nawa'y maunawaan nya na kahit kailan hindi ako humingi ng pagmamahal. Sana maisip nya na naging totoo ako sa lahat ng mga bagay na umiikot sa aming dalawa. Sana.. sana... sana...

Sinabi ko sa sarili ko...
Kakalimutan na kita...
Pinilit ko.. Masakit.
Sinubukan ko.. Mahirap.
Ano'ng gagawin ko?
Magtago?!
Tumakbo?!
Saan?!
Maliit lang ang mundo ko...
Umiikot pa sa'yo...

Salamat sa leksyong pinilit kong matutunan dahil sa'yo. Ikaw ang una at huli na pagbibigyan ko ng ganitong damdamin... Sa mga susunod... Balik na sa normal... Patawad. Patawad. Patawad

Simula na ulit.

Kamusta Naman ang QuanMet?!

Sabi nila.. we should always save the best for last... Oh well that's what we all thought before taking our QuanMet exams yesterday. BUT WE WERE WRONG. QuanMet was no ordinary piece of shit. It was like an exam given by Satan for you to be saved from eternal flames of hell. But hey Satan I think is pretty smart to make sure that not everyone can have a carousel ride in being saved from his wrath. Damn him!

Though I had answers on every number before the time given to us was up. I wasn't even really sure about it. Di ko alam what has gone wrong. Pati ung pyramid indi ko pa nakuha. Anubanamanyan!!!! Grabe na ito. Hay buti naman at nakuha ko ung last problem kasi un na lang ung consolation ko sa lahat lahat.

Ngayon i am eying still for my goal. This term is no different than the other terms.. I have had worst cases than this. Remember EnglOne???? I lost my faith in myself because of that freakin subject. But hey. Quanmet... I hope I make it.. My experience in EnglOne will never happen again...

SWEAR:)

Nakapili na nga pala ako... Grades or Sya.... I pick my Grades...:) O well sya.. saka na..:) Kailangan ko ikeep kung anuman ang meron ako.. yun ung grades ko kasi un lang ang sigurado sa akin.. Ciao! Baboo!!!

What is the probability kaya na I made the right decision?

Mahirap Mag-Open-Up... Pero Nakaya Ko?!

The past two weeks have been the most stressful time I've spent at DLSU. Aside from the quizzes that have demoralized us tremendously... (haha!) I have been faced with the biggest dilemma I had to face in my life... Confiding with my best friends about the one who has won and took away my heart. It wasn't easy for me to tell them because I was not used to being open with my very personal love life.. :) But with the kind of friends that i chose to attach my self with, breaking my silence (or prolly noise) came as easy as counting from one til three.

*sigh*

Now I think I can openly talk about it without my friends constantly asking "Sino ba?!" I asked Loren pa nga if now she knows why I fell so hard. I think she'll understand gradually na rin though right now we are opening up with each other more and more. I have proven to myself that it was in these times when our friendship will be put to the 'ultimate' test. But I guess it was not that much of a test at all. Because all the while they have been keeping their hunch of me liking ____. (Haha!) Nonetheless, formally they can say na "Shoit sya nga noh?! Sabi ko na eh..."

I think, however, that letting them know would eventually lead me to the point of letting go, the thing I wanna do for the longest time. I know they understood me on why I chose to fall rather than soar away from the one who has kept my heart crying for six months. They were but my best friends after all...

Just a thought lang before I end this.. Alyanna asked me a while ago if gusto ko raw mareciprocate nya ung feeling ko.. My mouth obviously said NO because it would take so much effort for that reciprocation to happen. But she then asked again "What if ireciprocate nya ung feeling mo...?" I told her na lang... "Then I would be the happiest person in the world.. Dream come true... Il never want anything.. anymore..."

With that being said... I end this shit... thinking about us... being with u... but this crap won't take me anywhere.. But I am happy for you... :)

Oo Na Ikaw Na!!!!

Di ko alam kung anuman ang nangyari.. basta sa kasalkuyan.. alam ko na ang totoo... marami ang nagtatanong, marami ang naguguluhan.. ngunit di ako makapagbigay linaw dahil maging akuman di ko alam... but kung marami man ang mga aspetong nakapag[abago.. maluwag ko itong tatanggapin dahil ito ang nakasulat sa tadhana ko...

Oo.. naniniwala pa rin ako sa tadahana kahit makailang beses ko na itong gustong baguhin... Sana lang maramdaman lang niya ang lahat ng nararamdaman ko... at pag nagkataon... maiintindihan nya rin.. mauunawaan.. na lahat ng ito.. kabalintunaan...

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nalaman mo.. di ko alam kung ano ang nagawa ko.. ngunit kung anuman ang nagdaan.. atin na itong hayaan.. para maging masaya naman ako... naman tayo sa sarili nating mundo... ganito na ba palagi... sige.. deal.