Someday...

I am hoping for that someday... When I can stand up and say to the whole world tha I couldn't care less about your existence ...but right now I am still torn between two of the hardest choices in life.. Continue a fight when I was the only one who keeps on fighting.. Or give up this feeling and forever be burdened by the decisions I have made in my life.. I know it was not fair on your part because there was no commitment involved between the two of us.. However, the things that you caused my life made me hope for something more.. a wish that I made.. that changed my life forever..

I know everything won't be the same again.. But I am hoping for the day that I can accept that I am gone in your life forever.. And you are as well in my life.. But I can't as of now stop telling myself that I need you here in my life.. Kahit little attention is already enough for a simple person like me... gradually, I can let go... Though it might take long...

Every time na nakikita kiang masaya... wala na lang ako magagawa... nagiging masaya na lang ako para sa yo kahit pilit kong pinipigil humikbi.. umiyak.. dahil aiokong magmukhang nagmamakaawa.. I hope you are reading this.. I know this might be shallow for you... Because the melody of your life has been already fixed.. fixed by your fate, your family, and yourself... While mine.. still frantic.. Audrey quoted once this line to me because she knows kung sino yung special someone ko... It's not actually a line but I guess a very striking statement...

"Loving ____ is like fighting with destiny..."

I wish you knew what my feelings were.. and how they transpired from admiration towards you who heped me forget all my past (even 3rd Term<--- ung crush ko dti na sinasabi ko sau pero di mo kilala) to a deeper emotional attachment... Eh di sana naiintindihan mo.. sana may reason para maging ganito.. Pagod na pagod na ako.. Pagod na akong maging masaya tuwing pumapatak ang mga ganitong panahon.. para sa iba..

Someday
Nina

Someday you're gonna realize
One day you'll see this though my eyes
By then I won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if I cared
I know you don't really see my worth
You think you're the last guy on earth
Well I've got news for you
I know I'm not that strong
But it won't take long
Won't take long

Someday someone's gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday someone's gonna take your place
One day
I'll forget about you
Someday someday

Right now I know you can tell
I'm down and I'm not doing well
But one day these tears they will all run dry
I won't have to cry, sweet goodbye